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In Great Persuit

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30 day report . I’ve lost 6.5 more inches . Sometimes or most of the time I see the same old girl as last year. I shun from the mirror  afraid of what I might see . Yesterday I undressed to tan and I actually looked at myself in the mirror and I didn’t hate myself at all . I saw the lines in my abs showing through the muscles in my legs and my arms looked thin. I saw my face and thought wow I’m pretty. Never in my life did I look in the mirror and have these thoughts. I’m so hateful to myself  Yesterday for a moment I let myself be proud of all my hard work and blood sweat and tears I’ve put in  , I took no short cuts and I knew all my runs all my work outs and all my healthy eating was paying off. I fired my trainer he lacked integrity. I thought I could still train with him anyway but no one on my team will lack character that was that .

So I’m in this alone again. I’m going to the gym soon it’s my day off. This month has been amazing in sales I hate that I have to pick myself back up in sales licking my wounds over again. But I’m focused at work . My kids , God , health . In 2017 this was my goal for 2018 and I did it. No one can say I’m not amazing, I’m not strong , I can’t do anything , I did it through losing the love of my life, I did it losing my dog , I did it losing my job beginning last year but found this great one now. I conquered and I’m walking on water . It was God himself who got me here.

It’s not over yet we have 2 hard months until Christmas. The holidays have been really hard with out my ex. It’s all been hard . But I have to literally keep my head down keep fighting keep praying every day , I think the one thing I began to learn is to chose to live now.

Try to find a smile in this moment , this day . Sometimes it seems impossible . But we might not have tomorrow .

Cheers to a new day .

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