Skip to main content

2018

As I started this journey as I wrote in my first blog post “ The Beginning “ to better myself for myself and then my partner whom I knew I was going to marry this year had so many shifts it happened so fast like a torent storm. I watched the love of my life leave me and for someone else. I saw him through the face of addiction as he begged me to hold on and he abandoned me over and over as my heart slowly became unrecognizable. I became a weak woman who was once strong . I gave him yet another forgiving chance for him to leave again in a numb sweaty picture of addiction leaving me once again cold and empty . I sit here knowing my value in God and as a woman. I thought was it me how did I not measure up ? But my self love came through this time.Isnt that what this journey was about ? It does not matter how many pounds I still need to lose or where my path is going I deserve love. To have my hand held to not be ignored and to have joy. Walk away from situations that are toxic. I started this journey a year ago. Here I am alone but I did it . I’m alive by gods grace.

2019 will be different. Lessons learned new body new job new outlook.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Identity

Yes it’s scientific you can die from a broken heart . Did you know we store emotions in our muscles and bones ? Not only is this scientifically true it’s also in the Bible. I remember when I was training for a fitness competition the harder I worked with my trainer I would cry sometimes not due to physical pain but the emotional pain buried that was physically being worked out . That’s why it’s good to excersise interesting right ? Last night I had an awful seizure all I can say is if you can imagine feeling the worst over dose this is how my seizure felt . Will I always survive them? I think stress has a lot to do with it . A man at my work told me , Amy I’ve never met a more beautiful cool Kind hearted woman that so many bad things happen to you makes no sense . It makes no sense to me . I get hit on like crazy but the one man I loved could careless I was alive. This began to effect me last night as it does many days . I can’t make sense of this persons crazy actions it haunts me th...

Cheating and Science

I wasn’t going to do measurements or weight until Friday but as I undressed to take a shower my waist looked so much smaller. So this is my fit blog so let me digress a year ago I wanted to lose weight fast I was tired of hating myself I wanted to feel better and be a better girl friend for my then boyfriend. I hated being insecure. So I did a liquid diet and cut my carbs. My weight dropped quickly It was hard as hell but I was determined ! Within a few months I probably dropped 20 pounds I was feeling better about myself . I knew I needed to switch up my diet or I would gain it back I’ve been in the industry long enough to know my body and how to ruin it. I slowly added a meal to my diet and I mean one piece of chicken or fish . As I started at the gym I added carbs . I still was losing weight I began flexible dieting . I began to count calories . My weight was coming off not as fast but I was doing it the right way . I was ok with that . This past month my body plateau after a year ...

Day 16

 Over 2 week hump . It hasn’t gotten easier but it has gotten to where I know I can’t miss . I didn’t miss before but what I mean is I can’t give up on myself  I’m to invested . I’m not even sure if I see the difference yet . But what I do know is the difference between me today and the better me last year . So I have to reach my goals . I’m not giving up , so I’m going to the gym now .